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Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Tuesday Links (9/9)

I have a story in today's Telegraph on the development of linebacker Marcus Dowtin. The kid seems like he's got a good head on his shoulders, and he's managed to impress his teammates with his play thus far.

The State has a piece on Georgia freshman and South Carolina native A.J. Green. And while your at the State, check out Seth Emerson's blog post about his trip to Athens.

Scout reports that South Carolina will likely be without wide receiver Kenny McKinley when it hosts Georgia on Saturday.

It may have taken a while for ESPN to figure out how great Knowshon is, but fans on YouTube have already made his leap a big hit.

More on Uga VII's new digs. I really think MTV needs to do a "Cribs" episode involving Uga. Or at least cast him on the next "Real World."

The Sporting News has a story on Demarcus Dobbs' quick development on Georgia's defensive line.

Jeff Owens goes in for surgery today. Here's hoping it's a quick recovery for him.

Catfish and Cornbread wonder if Saturday's game will be the ultimate test of how far Matthew Stafford has come.

It's not exactly Herbstreit, but here's a chance for you to complain about any ESPN bias toward the Dawgs.

And finally, UCLA researches have isolated a "Simpsons Brain Cell," or in (slightly more) scientific terms, an area of the brain that reacts to watching "The Simpsons."

In honor of this fantastic scientific breakthrough, I give you 10 great sports-related Simpsons quotes:

Homer: Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.


Homer: Yeah, Moe, that team sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked! I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked!


Homer: Lisa, if the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn't, it's that girls should stick to girls sports, such as hot oil wrestling and foxy boxing and such and such.


Homer: I'm like that guy who single-handedly built the rocket & flew to the moon. What was his name? Apollo Creed?


Drederick Tatum: (about Homer) He's a good guy. I like 'im, I got nothin' against 'im. But I'm definitely gonna make orphans of his children.
Reporter: You know, they do have a mother, Champ.
Tatum: Yes, but I imagine she would die of grief.


Umpire: Okay, let's go over the ground rules. You can't leave first until you chug a beer. Any man scoring has to chug a beer. You have to chug a beer at the top of all odd-numbered innings. Oh, and the fourth inning is the beer inning.
Chief Wiggum: Hey, we know how to play softball.


Ned: Ralph, you're on special teams.
Ralph: I'm special!


Homer: That putter is to you what a bat is to a baseball player! What a violin is... to the... the guy that... the violin guy!


Lisa: This football game is just another chapter in the pointless rivalry between Springfield and Shelbyville. They built a mini-mall, so we built a bigger mini-mall. They made the world's biggest pizza, so we burnt down their city hall.


Homer: Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose: it's how drunk you get.


Anonymous said...

Don't forget #11:

(not sure who) "Homer, you have to use an open-face on your sand wedge."
(Homer) "Mmmmmm....Open-faced club sandwedge.....aaaahhhhhh"

Anonymous said...


Homer: Here's to alcohol, the cause of—and solution to—all life's problems.